Short Stories

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Self Control

She tugged the elastic on her wrist once again as she stopped the car. A deep sigh as she focussed and made her decision. Her coat felt tight even as she released the seat belt and that caused a frown.

They said it was always worst at the start, but from experience, she knew every day was the worst until the new habits bedded in. She flipped the band again, this time so hard she winced. Like it was the penance she had to serve already. The punishment before the fact, she laughed.

She felt the neon drawing her in through the half-empty lot in the late afternoon gloom. As her hand touched the door handle, she questioned herself again. She reflected that even such awareness was a small positive.

He recognised her with a smile to put her at her ease as she pulled out her money. She looked around to make sure no one was looking and satisfied that the rain was keeping her secret, smiled a little nervous smile back at him.

“The usual?”

For a moment there, she might have chosen differently. She had that split second of control that might change her life.

“Yes.”

She missed her opportunity in that knee-jerk response. For just a moment, she had her buyer’s remorse.

“No can do.”

She looked at him in puzzlement. How could he do this to her?

“I’m right out.”

She scanned him closely and was met with two upturned palms of apology.

“Nothing showed up this morning.”

As she turned to leave, she reflected. The rain; the half-empty parking lot; the drive from home. They were all signs. She had been saved by out-of-stock pain au raisin.

She never wanted it anyway. Twang that elastic. Run from the coffee shop.

Diet back on.

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So Many Goodbyes

“Goodbye darling. I love you.”

My little red legs are running to keep up with her as we scurry along, on that misty, cold morning. It’s a grey and brooding Victorian stone-built school and I’m feeling bad as we make our way through the crowd of bigger children and their parents. We walk up the steps, where a blonde, cheery woman speaks with my mother, sharing encouraging, sympathetic words. As she touches my mother’s arm, one last time, I look up at that face I love and she smiles a nervous smile and turns and leaves through the half-glazed door. I’m rooted to the floor in disbelief. My new red St James’ blazer is stained with bitter tears. “Come along Reggie, let’s hang your coat up here.” Continue reading →

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So Irresistible

His earthy fragrance draws me to him once more. I cannot resist it. Ever.

I must be close for it to envelop me. To take me to his places and my places together. The innocent moments in my recall. The thoughts that are only forever mine. The thoughts that will die with me.

I remember his nectar on a beach in Texas. And on a funfair in Oklahoma. I seek it out every night in his bed. I eat with it; dance with it and belong in it.

Forever, as far as I know. But who am I to decide?

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A Sense of Smell

It was the smell that caught my attention first, that wet Saturday afternoon. I’d caught her out by arriving early and she was still drying her hair.

The sweet-shop smell of her shampoo still fresh in her warm hair as she came to the door.

Over the years, I’ve rarely experienced that delicate bouquet, and when I have, a vision of her, half-dressed in her bedroom when we were together.

And I smile inside a smile I secretly hold dear within me, all these years later.

And then, I chose to end it all, after all we went through.

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Sunrise, Sunset

The sunsets were dazzling, every day that I was with her. It was as though all the difficulties in the world faded from our perception on those days and we were filled with only delight.

When she left, on that cold November evening, that life ended, seemingly forever for me. I found a life that was only bleak and numbing. A life that has remained that way for the last 17 years and counting.

Until yesterday, when she returned at last. Even though she was broken, I could work with that and, once more, the sun rose each morning.

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His Father’s Son

The ring of empty seats that surrounded him was an indication not only of the nits he was supposed to have in his wild red hair, but of how they all shunned everything about him. He had gotten used to being ignored by the others. It wasn’t the first time he’d experienced ridicule and loneliness in a classroom.

As the fire alarm bells rang, Miss Dufour put in motion the well-rehearsed drill. It was not Friday at 11 am after all, it was Tuesday.

They didn’t do drills on Tuesdays.

Continue reading →

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Pastrami Days


Michael saw the meat fall as he bit into the thick sandwich. He’d thought he wouldn’t be able to get it in his mouth. The pastrami on rye, wasn’t quite. It was more pastrami on table.

The sandwich was huge and it was the size of it that took him back all those years.

***

They’d been on a last-minute trip of a lifetime to see the sights of the Big Apple. For Jess, though, it was more than that, for she was starting her new life as well. The New York office job at Cantor Fitzgerald was an opportunity she could never pass up on, he knew that, but he worried he would lose her when she started there, across the wide Atlantic.

It had happened to him before. When Helen went to university a year before him, he realised that there would be strains, but he never thought she would end it with him. Girlfriends in far off places would always cause him some anxiety.

Their last meal at Carnegie Deli on 7th Avenue was a treat they’d waited for. A New York icon for visitors and locals alike, the kitsch entrance lobby was full of pictures of the stars past and present who had eaten there and it only precluded the glass cases of huge desserts they both drooled over in anticipation.

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Last Writes

I position myself to shoot. The target bobbles into vision in the scope and I’m ready. I suck air in deeply and slowly, then squeeze on the last out breath. That’s how I always did it back in the old days.

Never failed me. Gently does it.

I once heard that lunacy was defined as ‘a population of one, believing themselves right’. I don’t know where I heard that – or even if I did. Maybe I made it up. My thinking around this little situation is perfectly sound – to me – and that’s all that matters. Maybe it’s a little selfish, but I am doing a service to so many. The fallen. The innocent. The unprotected.

And looking after myself as well, of course. In this case, everyone’s a winner, in the biggest sense, except him, of course. Even his family and friends loathe him behind the scenes, so I’ve heard. So they can be on my side and, in their quiet moments, raise thanks to their God above, too, now that it’s done.

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The More Things Change

I slip silently from the 300 thread silk sheets we brought with us. He doesn’t move at all. It’s early yet and I can barely see what I’m doing. The darkness in my eyes still getting in the way. I stumble a little and find support in the bathroom door. And I find the chair where my things ended up. At least some of them did.

I look back at Johnny, and smile as I think of the night. Our night. Together.

It’s always the same amazing same with Johnny and just thinking of it makes the rest of the world go away. The world with all the imponderables of the changes that will surely come now.

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Home is Where My Heart Is

He heard the van at six. The time they always came. He was ready and waiting and eager to get on his way.

Before they had time to knock, he was at the door and took his place in the informal procession to his place in the back. Through the darkness, the overhead neon lights provided an institutionalized backdrop to exaggerate the intensity of the rain that hammered on the roof.

“Ready Albert?” He knew the guards well enough for them to call him by his first name.

“All buckled up? We don’t want any accidents now, do we?” Roberts chuckled lairily as he looked across to his mate who was driving.

“Going home then, are we?”

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