I hear a rusting, over to my left. It’s the faintest of sounds, but I can hear it perfectly now. I tread carefully over behind it and if I wait, I think I can get to it.

Now!

Yesss, I got there and I have the little wriggler in my mouth now. I bite harder, just a fraction, to ensure that it knows I am here. There, calm down a little, I’m not going to hurt you (much!).

Now, let’s get you home, my little one, where I can present you to my Mummy. She’s been on vacation and I think she will like a little present. She squeals with delight when she sees my present, you know. And I so love to delight her when she’s just come back home.

Sometimes I bring others like you. It’s so easy to find you, especially in the Spring, when there are so many of you around. All your brothers and sisters have come my way and I’ve presented them to Mummy so many times.

Just on occasion, when I’ve felt a little hungry, I might snack on one or two of you, but usually, you come and play with me and Mummy and then, well, all of a sudden something snaps with me and I don’t want to play any more.

So I chew off your little head and I leave Mummy two gifts. Top and tail, as they say!

***

Then there are the ones that try to get away up into the sky. And you know what, they sometimes do. You should try it, for it’s far easier to escape my claws when you can fly up and away. Being in the floor does you no good, I can tell you!

The feathery ones are tricky to catch and then I can’t let them run around, for they would fly off, so I tend to crunch ‘em in their back a little, that stops ‘em getting away. It’s a bit sneaky, flying off when I take my eye off ‘em, so now that I know about that, I simply don’t let ‘em. Crunch and I’m done.

***

Then there are squirrels. I don’t like them much for they have very sharp teeth. I’ve tried to creep up on them, but they are very quick and they fight back! How dare they. Surely they know that a cat is top dog (if I am allowed to say that, of course!), in our garden. I did catch one once, but it was only a little one. Hardly any meat on it at all. The meat that I managed to chew off it was miserly, but tasty at the same time. Yum. I’d like one of the bigger ones, but they simply fight too hard, that’s the truth.

***

There’s one other beast that falls between all of you. That’s Mr Rat.

Now, I can deal with a fat rat, but you have to be a bit careful, cos they can bite and, at least I find, they are covered in fleas and ticks. It might suit them to have them, but my Mummy gets a bit apoplectic when she sees them if I should pick one up. Then we have all sorts of struggles when she tries to get them off me. I had one the other day who had three ticks, but I think he was a bit old.

***

They have a couple of things that do interest me in the house, but I’ve been told more than once that I should be very careful when I size these up.

They have something they call a gerbil and another they call a budgie. I think catching and eating one of those would be tricky. Mummy says that she would chase me out of the house straight away if she saw me with one of these. I don’t see why they should have Mummy’s protection, but there you go.

It’s not easy to be a cat you know and after that incident with the corporation bus, I seem to be a life missing. Indeed I think that just leaves me with eight. Though sometimes, when Mummy is screaming in delight at one of my presents, she says something about killing me (with love, I suppose) and so I need to have a few lives on my side.

Now, it’s getting dark, when I work my best, so it’s time to be back out there and see what else I can find.